handfulofglory | Aurora: App

Player Name: Cheshire
Are you over 18? Y
Preferred Contact:

ivoryandhorn / Cheshire#9758

Character Name: Jin Guangyao (birth name Meng Yao)
Canon: Mo Dao Zu Shi (Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation)
Loss: memories
Power Concerns:

Most of his powers shouldn't be any issue, not least because there shouldn't any dead people or spirits for him to effect. Some of the powers he has will rely on eventually getting special equipment, though. This includes generic things (paper, ink, and a brush for creating talismans, guqin strings for a special technique) and the specific (his sword, Hensheng, which has the generic spiritual weapon powers of being manipulated by his spiritual power and the specific ability to cut through anything its "soft" blade wraps around when spiritual power is channeled through it).

Character Summary:

MDZS takes place in fantasy ancient China and focuses on the personal relationships and political machinations of various sects of cultivators, people with special powers who assist the normal folks with undead problems. Jin Guangyao was the illegitimate child of Jin Guangshan, sect leader of the Jin sect, and the prostitute Meng Shi. For this, he was derided all his life: in the brothel where he grew up, in the Sunshot Campaign where he served as a soldier and then a spy, and then by the Jin sect when he was grudgingly acknowledged as Jin Guangshan's son. Throughout those years, he worked twice as hard as everyone around him at numberless thankless tasks. He also killed and destroyed many lives to secure his position in society. When MDZS kicks off, he's well-respected as leader of the Jin sect and the Chief Cultivator who governs the other sects. But things begin to fall apart when someone threatens to reveal his crimes.

Jin Guangyao's personality can be explained by one simple desire: to be respected. The greatest effect this desire had was to make him a people-pleaser. From childhood, he learned to always keep a pleasant, appeasing smile on his face, no matter the indignity or humiliation being heaped upon him, and as a consequence is extremely good at controlling his emotions. The flip side is that he's an excellent actor, using his facility with words and changing his demeanor to manipulate people around him. His effort toward people pleasing is apparent in his actions too. Jin Guangyao often takes the role as mediator in conflicts, preferring to soothe hurt feelings with pleasing words than engage in open conflict. He's very good at reading people to figure out their weak points and what they want, and then giving it to them in order to get what he wants. And that can be as benign as being liked to as awful as securing the cooperation of a mass-murdering nutjob (Xue Yang).

That being said, while Jin Guangyao's desire to please is part of his arsenal of social weaponry, it's also deeply rooted in a real desperation for acknowledgement, and he has a tendency to fixate on specific people as sources of acknowledgement or respect even when all evidence suggests those efforts are futile. His relationship with his father Jin Guangshan is an example of this. Jin Guangshan went so far as to pretend to not know Jin Guangyao was his son during the Sunshot Campaign, only grudgingly acknowledging Jin Guangyao once he became too famous to ignore. Even then, Jin Guangyao has to hustle twice as hard and endure the derision of the Jin sect to maintain his position, to say nothing of carrying out Jin Guangshan's dirty work, like covering for his philandering at brothels.

Ultimately, Jin Guangyao's moral compass is extremely flexible in the face of his goals, though he's not completely without a moral baseline. During the Sunshot Campaign, he did his best to spare the civilians of the Wen sect who weren't part of the Wen sect cultivators' cruelties. On the other hand, he tortured and murdered countless allies with a smile in order to stay in the Wen sect's good graces while serving as a spy. Even so, he's aware that the things he does are immoral, and is constantly performing mental backflips to justify them as necessities, both to himself and others. In this view, all the awful things he's done to further self-interest are things he was forced to do by the mistreatment of others. In this, he doesn't exactly have a persecution complex. From what we see in canon, there's no reason to suspect that the maltreatment he accuses others of doling out to him is fictitious. However, he will use every inch of maltreatment to excuse and justify his own bitterness and cruelty.

Because the flip side of Jin Guangyao's people-pleasing face is his deep resentment toward everyone who has ever looked down on him. He craves acknowledgement and respect, but he also cannot forgive those who withhold it from him. Jin Guangyao is all too aware that, when the chips are down, all his pleasantness and hard work, all his courage and success, will never amount to more than being the son of a prostitute. This has made him deeply cynical and bitter. And Jin Guangyao is not above avenging himself on the people who have rejected him in this way. In fact, it's the bitterness of his friend Nie Mingjue calling him the "son of a prostitute" while in a rage that cements his decision to murder Nie Mingjue.

The other flip side of Jin Guangyao's deep-seated resentment is that he remembers the people who HAVE acknowledged him. Though he does eventually turn on Nie Mingjue, he spent the years before that struggling to win back his regard and respect after losing it during the Sunshot campaign, and doesn't fully turn on him until he feels that possibility has been crushed for good, turning his friendship to resentment. And he doesn't turn on the Lan sect or Lan Xichen, who has unfailing treated him with respect even when he was just Meng Yao, until he feels like he has no other choice--and even then, though Lan Xichen has finally turned against him, Jin Guangyao's final act is to save Lan Xichen's life.

Finally, Jin Guangyao remains deeply insecure about his position in society, regarding most other people as rivals with whom he must jockey for even a basic amount of respect. Just as he has done anything to achieve his position, he will do anything to conceal his crimes and maintain that position, even orchestrate his wife's suicide. This also makes him a very cautious and careful person. He rarely acts openly or in a way that can easily be traced back to him, making use of lackeys or taking advantage of existing opportunities to conceal his actions.

Sample: (Written to Scenario 1 of the TDM, which is why he's never mentioned by name.)

Waking up undressed in a strange room is hardly a promising start to the day. Still, the surroundings are comfortable enough, and there's a message to welcome him, though he can't quite understand its meaning. He explores the room he's in as he further considers the situation. The room he's in is spacious, well-appointed, and clothing has been provided. So, he can expect some basic dignities, though he's wary of how long they'll last. It's clear from their welcome message that his gracious hosts have some expectations of him. Though what they entail, he has no idea: making bonds, bringing joy, saving the universe… These don't feel like things he's accustomed to. (And what will he get in return, for performing such a weighty service?)

Attempting to explore quickly turns up the fact that his right arm ends a few inches below his elbow. The way he keeps instinctively reaching out with that arm suggests that it was due to a recent event. And yet, when he tries to probe his memory for the reason for the lack, what he receives is nothing. Is this the "some things that are missing" that the welcome message mentioned? He's grateful to at least have basic muscle memory and skills available to him, but he feels a kernel of resentment as well. How easy it is for a lifetime of memories to be dismissed as "some things"! Without memories, he can't even understand the scope of what's been taken.

It takes some time, but he manages to wrestle himself into some of the clothing provided to him, and to comb his extremely long hair into something that looks mostly respectable. He's dissatisfied with the overall result, cobbled together from whatever he could manage with just one hand. He can hear people outside and they will judge him on how he presents himself, and currently, he makes a pitiful image indeed. (He'll have to fix that. He can't stand the idea of being the object of strangers' pity.)

The last thing he does is school his face into a smile. He can't do anything about the clothes or hair, but he can control this, at least. The pleasant expression feels natural, a habit as bone-deep as walking. (What does this say about him? He's desperately curious, but somehow also nervous of the answer). With the smile in place, he opens the door.